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Living in the Highest –Go Van Le Story

Posted by: ArTanGeL  /  Category: Poems & Stories
by: Mariko
How could he have failed his country? How could he have failed his family? These thoughts kept going over and over his head as the ship was moving away from the shore. This is gonna be the last time that he will see this shore wherein his forefather, great-grandfather, grandfather, uncles and every forebears that he had fought to gain freedom of oppression from all the enemies of their land. How sad,he thought..He looked at his wife sitting in one corner huddled like a lost child. She was able to salvage at least their valet containing jewelries and a meager amount from the sale of his tanneries to a communist businessman a year before. Life was good way back then. Business was booming. His small packing and canning business was thriving. Thanks to the Army. When supplies for their american armies comrade ran out, the South Vietnamese Army would go to his warehouse and pay him good dollars for all his produce; and in the event, he became a symphatizer and a protector of his beloved Vietnam. For all it was worth, they wouldnt surrender South Vietnam to the Vietcongs without a fight. They would have to kill them first.

And kill them, they did..His two aunts and uncle living in the border were shot by the NLF. They were told to run and save their life..which they did and in the process were executed. When Le heard that the Vietcongs were preparing to take over South Vietnam in 1974, he began to make preparations to escape the country. He knew that if he stayed, he and his immediate family will be persecuted by the enemy. He arranged for his son to be repatriated ahead of him and his wife through an Army commander friend of his. He lost contact with his friend and didnt know where his son was.

He was standing at the ship’s railing looking out to the sea. He was feeling depressed and hopeless. Whats gonna happen to them in the US? He cannot even speak english and he did not know a single soul in there. When he paid for his and his wife’s passage on this ship, he was told that the moment they step on the US land, they’d be brief by the government and will be referred to the social service and after that, they’re gonna be on their own. It made him feeling restless and sleepless. He turned to look at his wife beside him. She was holding the bible and mouthing “Dont worry Le, God is gonna take care of us”. But those words did not even register. In his mind, he was thinking of the vast challenge ahead. He’s tired, and he thought “What If I’d just jump from this ship?”. He started to walk towards the edge and look on the waters.

After the ship docked, everything was a blur to Le. He was asked by the authorities for his and his families passport and a letter by his commander friend affirming their person. He was later escorted to a social service office and was accompanied by a very friendly and welcoming officer and were taken to see a doctor. They were pronounced healthy except for a little form of malnourishment which they got because of all the hardships that they had to face before boarding the ship and while on-board.

They were interviewed and asked lotta questions ( they were helped by a vietnamese interpreter ) and were sitting at one of the cells of the bureau when they were summoned to see somebody. They were out of the door and were shown a couple whom they thought they knew. They looked familiar to him but…he couldnt placed the faces. couldnt remember, unless “Holy Christ!..he couldnt be!!” Trang, one his grandfather’s brother who were trying to convince him to leave Vietnam seven years ago. He looked old and frail but healthy and smiling. He ran and hugged him, they were both crying like children. just couldnt stop themselves.

After getting clearance from the social service, and chatting with his grandfather for a bit in between sobs, they went to his gramps place. It was not big, but he owns the house. He was able to buy himself a bakery at one of the busiest mall in his local area and asked Le and his wife if they wanna work there. Of course Le accepted. Trang is family and they need a job to survive in America and what good place to start than with a relative.

Le and his wife decided to live at the back of Trang’s Bakery. There’s a small empty storage room in there where he and his wife could sleep but it has no washroom. There was an adjacent washroom to the bakery so everytime they need to use it to take a bath or just relieve themselves, they would just go there. Le made a plan to save all of his and his wife’s income by not renting a place of their own for now. If he will rent, all of their earnings will go to their daily maintenance aside from the fact that he has to buy furnitures and vehicle for the two of them. They will be paid 17 dollars each per day and he was calculating in his head. In five years, if he will scrimp and save, he’ll be able to save 50,000 dollars and will be able to buy a small business just like his grandfather. He will not be buying clothes for now because his uncles has a lot of hand-me-downs for him and her and that will be enough until their lives get better. Now and again and especially at night, bits and pieces of his life in Vietnam would flash in his head..The opulent life, the money, the business,his farmlands..ahhh his farmlands..he still has the deed for it..but then he would finally go back to reality..This is it, he thought..I have to make it here or break it..but breaking it was not a choice..
The couple would just eat leftovers from the bakery and at nights, would sleep at the small storage room that Trang had not been using for years. They put in a second hand bed they bought from the thrift shop nearby and a small dresser where they could stash in their meager belongings. Some pictures of his son and his brothers and sisters, some deeds of the lands that they once owned in Vietnam and documents pertaining to their personal identities. On Sundays, they would attend the local Baptist Church and on Mondays thru saturdays, they worked at the bakery. Those were the routines of the Ngo’s and little did they know that almost three years had passed and they had saved a little bit of money.

One day, his grandfather had a heart attack at 71 years old. He couldnt recover from it so the family decided to sell the Bakery. Le loved working on it and thought, whats gonna happened to them now? Trang was selling it for 90 grand and as much as he wanna buy it, he couldnt..He only saved 35 grand. However, being a savvy businessman that he was, he negotiated to buy the bakery from his grandfather and agreed to pay his balance monthly. Without hesitation, his grandfather agreed and Le now owns the Bakery.

That Sunday, he kneel down on the church pews and thanked God. HE did not forget him and his wife after all.. A tear fell while he silently prayed and remembered Psalm 23..The Lord sheperded him and his wife and he did not want any…and he will dwell in the House of the Lord forever..That Sunday, they stayed longer in the church and petition God for his Son..Every day and night that they were here, he had been praying for him..He knows that God is looking after him too and he has faith that one day, they’re going to be reunited again.

Paano niya nakayanan ang ganitong kalungkutan?

Posted by: ArTanGeL  /  Category: Poems & Stories

Paano niya nakayanan ang ganitong kalungkutan?

by: ArTanGeL

Noong nasa Pinas pa lamang ako, pangarap ko na makapagtrabaho dito sa Saudi. Gusto ko tularan ang aking ama na halos dalawampu’t limang taon ding naging alipin sa bansang ito. Mahabang panahon ang kanyang tiniis para mapag-aral at mabuhay kami ng maayos. Dugo’t pawis ang dapat tumulo upang makakain kami ng tamang oras. Puyat at lungkot ang tiniis para maibigay ang aming pangangailangan at makapagtapos sa aming pag-aaral. At dahil doon, sinabi ko sa aking sarili na dapat ako naman.

Una, iniisip ko pa lamang noon kung ano ang magiging trabaho ko kung sakaling mapunta nga ako ng Saudi. Tunay nga bang uunlad ako kung sakaling nandoon na ako?

Sa kagustuhang makatulong sa aking pamilya at makapag-ipon ng sariling pera, natuloy nga din ako. Alam ko mahirap talaga ang buhay sa malayo lalo na kung nasanay ka sa kinagisnan mo nang buhay sa ating bansa, pero kailangan din nating magtiis upang matupad natin ang ating mga munting pangarap.

Naaalala ko pa noon, naka-ilang beses na din akong mag-apply sa mga ahensya sa ating bansa. Nasubukan ko nang aplayan ang pagiging data encoder, waiter, at marami pang iba, pero hindi ko akalaing maliit din pala ang sahod ng ganoong trabaho kaya naman hindi ako nagtuloy. Mas malaki pa ang kinikita ko sa sasahurin ko kung sakali. Sinubukan ko ding mag-apply ayon sa aking tinapos ngunit kulang naman daw ako sa experience. At ngayon, nandito na nga ako pero parang pakiramdam ko hindi ako masaya. Alam ko hindi kalakihan ang sahod dito kumpara noong nasa Pinas pa ako pero kahit papaano nakakapag-ipon din ako.

Unang apak ko pa lamang dito, bitbit ko na sina “kaba” at “takot” sa kadahilanang iniisip ko na baka hindi ko magampanan kung ano man ang trabaho at buhay na naghihintay sa akin. Pinilit kong iwan si “lungkot” pero hindi ko napansing naisingit ko pala sa aking bagahe. Si “lungkot” na laging tumatabi sa aking pagtulog at kasama ang ala-alang dala-dala nito. Hindi mo din mapapansing tumutulo na pala ang iyong luha kapag oras na ng tulugan. Ilang baling ang bibilangin upang mahanap mo si “antok”. Si “antok” na kapag minalas malas ka, kasama mo din hanggang sa pagpasok.

Ngayon, isang taon at mahigit na ako at nalalapit na ang aking pag-uwi. Kay bilis nga naman ng panahon pero mas mahirap pa pala ang ganito kaysa sa unang apak mo pa lamang dito. Sa halip na araw na lang ang bibilangin parang taon pa din ang bawat araw na dumadaan. Madami kang pinagdaanan, nalagpasan mo ang galit ng iyong amo pero pakiramdam mo parang hinahatak ka pa din pabalik. Pakiramdam na akala mo’y mas bumabagal pa ang takbo ng orasan mo. Luha na akala mong naubos na pero parang umuusbong ulit at namumuo sa iyong mga mata. Ang pananabik na maaakap mo ulit ang iyong mga mahal sa buhay ang parang nagiging dahilan pa nang iyong kalungkutan.

Dahil dito, doon ko naramdaman ang hirap ng dinanas ng aking ama. Maraming tanong ang pumapasok sa aking isipan at isa na dito ang, “Paano niya nakayanan ang ganitong kalungkutan?” Ganito pala ang pakiramdam, sa pag-aakalang masarap mangibambansa pero mahirap din pala.

Jaime

Posted by: ArTanGeL  /  Category: Poems & Stories

Jaime

Composed by Mariko

My Jaime whose face shoned upon me
Gave me light and vanquish me with cheers
Instant bliss… surrounded me with warmth
All through my days
My Earth days will be filled
My nights wont be cold
Jaime of the rising sun
Even the birds shied upon your presence;

My Jaime who showed me no fears
Conquering my innermost, constant battles;
You calmed me with your effervescence
Bestow me with your grace;
Fluid, strong-willed, unparalleled wits.
Jaime of the stubborn, proud race.
You bend me with your will.
Send me to heights, my senses cant seem to reach.

My Jaime whose passion is unequalled..
Be it love… Be it war… Be it peace.
You who wiped down my tears.
Who made them fell.
You honor my life with unbridled love.
Yet you taketh them.
Love is not for you and for me.

My Jaime who showed me adoration.
I lost your love and lust and trust.
Your face turned away.
I’d seen a bitter enemy.
A mighty fortress..in your eyes.
In your stance.
I mourned my loss..which is you.
I weep for myself..Blood spattered to the ground.

 

Composed this poem today in a hasty disbelief. A woman in love who was suddenly unloved. Its haphazardly made but I put a little bit of myself into it. My female readers can symphatized with this woman whose heart is breaking right now into a million pieces.

Happy Father’s Day

Posted by: papi_pol  /  Category: Back Home, Poems & Stories

What is a Father?
by Jean-Paul Jeorge Clavio

What is a father? a father is a person that smiles after he sees your face for the first time in the delivery room. He is the guy who drives you home after experiencing 9 months swimming in amniotic fluid and breathing oxygen after coming up. He’s the first guy you see after you open your eyes for the first time. He’s the person who helps you up to step forward with your yet sensitive and unused feet. He is the guy who picks you up when you fall down after that baby step.

A father is the person who brings you to school on that first day. He is the one who fixes your uniform, shines your school shoes, and cleans your lunchbox. He is the guy whom the principal calls because you did something nasty in school, like playing in the mud or punching your classmate on the nose. He is the guy who helps you answer all your assignments and fix those school home economics projects. At the end of the day, he is the one who picks you up from school and tucks you in your bed after reading a beautiful fairy tale to make you sleep.

A father is the person who guides you to choose what course you want and where to find for it. A father plots your course through destiny and guides you in the best course of action. A father forgives you if you have walked a wrong path, and still takes you in after you have left him.  A father protects you and makes you invincible from harm and He is the person who lets you know where you have gone wrong and he is willing to sacrifice his life, his dignity, and his love, so you will get the best treatment a son could ever have.

To all fathers in the world. Happy Father’s day From PinoyME.

Gone

Posted by: ArTanGeL  /  Category: Poems & Stories

Gone

Composed by: Mariko

Gone are the days when you would wait upon me..
When you couldnt get enough of my embraces..
My kisses and yours, free-flowing as the stream
Pure as lover’s promises
Waiting to be fulfilled.

Gone are the greeneries,
Sprouting up and happily..
Touching..playing each other’s leaves.
Poisies bursting with colors
Violets exuding with delightful perfumery

Bees not mating
Birds disappearing
Robins stopped chirping.
Gone are the starlight in your eyes.
The sun shining in my head,
Eloquently proclaiming love,
Which we cannot contain.

Gone are those which we cannot capture again
I lost you in a much sweeter embrace
You lost me on a whim.
Fate won over love
My paradise vanished in a blink.
Yours gained in my pain.

I might be gone
You might be torned away..
From me.
By my Unforeseen enemies
But..please..
Dont sing your last lullaby

Dont feel pity on a victor..
Whose life is not woven in love alone.
Many a -struggles might have won me.
Many a friends who left.
But God bestowed this woman.
A might and power,
Not anyone on this Earth can conquer.

Don’t Despair

Posted by: ArTanGeL  /  Category: Poems & Stories

Don’t Despair

Composed by: Mariko


Don’t despair now, my love
You know that my heart lives in yours
You know that you own me… heart and soul
Nothing can separate us,not even the distance.
Your spirit lives in me.

You branded me as your own
eons of years ago.
We were lost and now we’re found.
Dont despair because time blessed us.
We might be wandering, searching before.
With the soulless.
But we are freed.

Dont ever think for one moment that
I will forget us… you.
I wont.
A heart does not forget.
My heart does not quit.
Because it knows you.
My most beloved on Earth.

Dont despair because I’m far.
We are tied up till eternity.
With God in the middle..
Who could break off the bond.
Not even Satan, the devil himself.
Shied away from the pureness of this.

Dont despair now, My love.
Please heed the plea of this soul who..
Place you above anything… and everything else.
Hear my cry,albeit afar.
Listen to my longing.
Look up to our stars
Because they only speak up one name.
and that’s you,
The sweetest name in my lips..
The gentlest kiss in the wind.
My love, my most beloved.

 

Ode to my Love

Posted by: ArTanGeL  /  Category: Poems & Stories

Composed by Mariko

I am priviledged to have been the first one to start a thread about creative writing, poems, love letters and personal reflections. I hope that after I start it, somebody would follow suit. I love weaving words. I take joy in writing something which I felt strongly about. I cant write unless im really, really inspired and because I’m very much in-love right now, I wanna start to compose rhymes for him. For that special someone whose always making me smile, whose making my heartbeat abnormal than usual and who always keeps me hopeful inspite of everything. I composed this first poem last night (April 22,2009) after we last talked and I was teary. Here goes;

I like Lookin…

I like lookin at ya…
Your huge hands… working hands…
I wonder how…
Those fingers labor, just to
Make me… us… happy.

I like lookin at your eyes
Peircing… Gazing into them.
Was like drowning me.
Into pools of greenery.
Reading them was like,
Piecing a puzzle,
A labyrinthian travel…
To the other side
Of my soul which is you.

I like lookin at your muscles…
At play… How you coordinated each
And every sinews,
Was a pleasure to me.
Just to watch… just to see…
You are a beauty to stare at.
But you were unaware.
Which made you… your form even more
Beautiful.

I like lookin at ya.
Your wispy hair…
Dark… as a night.
Just love caressing them.
With my bare fingers.
It will come alive. Has a life.
Has a breath..that I put into them.
Smelling them was heaven.
But you were unaware.
Because I had them in my dreams.

I like lookin at yah.
Your gait… when you walk…
How you pace your cadence…
Very purposeful.
How you nod… To me.
How those brows would arch.
How your chuckles would…
Send chills down my spine…
Your laugh was always priceless.

I like lookin at yah…
My perfect half.
My mate… My other soul…
My dream come true.
My heart’s desire.
My neverending need.
God’s answer to my prayer.
My body’s only longing.
My only want.
My most beloved.